1 year since my furbaby, Dixie Kitty passed

     Today is a very sad day, as it marks the 1 year anniversary of my fur baby, Dixie-Kitty passed away. Of all the deaths I have had to deal with in my life, she is by far one of the hardest, and I am still grieving. Most days I am okay, but today has been hard. I have been crying off and on since I woke up this morning (plus I am catching a cold on top of this, so I am a hot mess today). I keep thinking about the day before she died, and how I wish I had just sat on the couch for a little bit longer, and let her lay in my lap all night. Maybe I could have stopped whatever it was that caused her body to shut down-I believe she had a stroke. I remember waking up a year ago today to find her laying on my bedroom floor, in a puddle of her vomit. She tried to cry out but no sound came out of her mouth. Her eyes had that far off look, I knew she was dying. I wish I could have stayed there with her and held her until she took her last breath. I remember kissing her little head and telling her it was okay to go, I knew it was her time and I would always love and miss her until the day I joined her in the Summerlands. Here is a pic of my baby girl, she looks so sweet and innocent, but the funny thing is, she is giving Corey the "Dixie Death Stare"...

It never seemed to fail that if Corey and I were arguing (whether it was something trivial or serious) she would get on the couch cushion that was between us and just stare him down! Looking back, that makes me crack up...I always had someone to side with me, even if I was wrong (which for the record, I am never wrong).

     She was such a good cat. Her life started out rough, and I believe she may have been a runt, because she never got very big and had skin problems all her life. She was dropped off and abandoned at the root beer stand I was working at in September 1999. The owner (at the time) got in touch with an adoption agency to try to find her a new home, and in the meantime she kept her at her house. She would bring Dixie to the restaurant with her to keep an eye on the kitten during the day and in case a family could pick her up. I loved this little kitten so much, she was just too adorable, and we bonded instantly. I spent my breaks playing and petting her. One day, my boss told me a family was going to adopt her, and while I was beyond happy for her, my heart broke into a million pieces because I didn't think I would ever see her again. So at the end of my shift, I went home with tears in my eyes. Corey tried to cheer me up, but was pretty unsuccessful. So we decided to eat dinner at the root beer stand (we both worked there) and he said he had to take care of something inside. So I waited in the car. A few minutes later, my car door was opened and there sat my Dixie-Kitty! We were the family that had adopted her! Needless to say, my frown was instantly turned upside down! I couldn't take her home right away because we had a boy kitten that needed to be fixed (he was just starting to spray, so that was getting done anyways!). We were definitely meant to be with one another, there is no doubt in my mind about that. It broke my heart when I had to leave her with my parents for a few years because we moved back/forth from my in-laws to apartments that wouldn't let me have cats. But she was always happy to see me, and sit on my lap (her favorite spot). We were able to bring her home 2008 when we bought our home, and that is where we spent the last years together.

    I miss everything about her, but the thing I miss the most is her sitting on my lap. The ironic thing is at times it would annoy me, especially when I was trying to work on my laptop. But, I would have given 10 years of my own life to have 1 more with her. I miss her so much. I have two boy cats now (they are just a little over a year old) that we got shortly after she passed, and I love them to, but they aren't lap cats like she was, and they are more loyal to my kids than they are me.

   I did find a great website that I could make an online memorial of her, it costs $25 a year, but a portion of that gets donated to a local non-euthanizing shelter, so that is awesome. People can sign a guestbook (which I appreciate each and every one that does). They also have a free pet loss support forum. That really helped me deal with it, as none of my friends or family really understood how I felt. She was my baby, and I had her before I had my kids. I used to kid with Autumn that she was a middle child because Dixie-Kitty was my oldest! Anyways, I may come back and write more a little later, but I am getting over-emotional and I am at work, so I better stop for now. But please feel free to visit her memorial at  Dixie Kitty's Memorial or you can visit the pet loss forum at Rainbows Bridge.

Thanks for taking the time to read about my baby, she meant the world to me....

...The little white butterflies remind me that you are with me in spirit, even if you are not here in body...Blessed Be Dixie-Kitty!