So it dawned on me the other day as I was reading another blog that it's been a lifetime since I wrote in mine...Okay not literally a lifetime but long enough.
Cheer is about wrap up for the season, and honestly it is bittersweet. I enjoy it-most of the time, but practicing 3-5 days a week on top of being at football games all day on Sunday can wear a person down after a while. Tomorrow is our cheer competition. Unfortunately it was rescheduled from about a month ago, and that caused me to put a personal dream on hold. See, tomorrow is also the Open Cast Call for the show MasterChef in Columbus, and I was going to try out for it. But, as the Cheer Advisor/JV Head Coach/Parent of a cheerleader, I had to put my personal wishes aside. Heartbreaking, for sure but I always put my kids before myself. Sure, I could try out, make it and even go as far as to winning the competition (and of course I would!) but there would be that outside chance I wouldn't. Then I would have to live with that decision. I've missed a lot of things in Tehya's first couple of years of life because of my (then) hectic work life. I made a promise to her that I would never do that to her again. So personal wishes take a back seat.
Sure, I could be resentful about it, and maybe a very small part of me is. I am human, after all. But It's not the end of the world. Hopefully, they will come back next season, I can try out then.
But you know, I get to thinking about how we, as parents, are always sacrificing for our children. Then again, there are so many of them that put their children off to satisfy their own wants and desires. That really saddens me. I would be lying if I said that I didn't have selfish wants and needs. Yes, there are times I wish I could be like the 18 year old version of myself again. Road trip for the weekend? Hell yeah! Where to? Wherever my finger lands on the map. Yeah, I miss those days...a lot. But I would not trade them in for game days for nothing. My kids have helped shape me into the person I am today. I don't think I am that bad. Not in comparison to the many that I see on a daily basis. I definitely could have turned out worse.
I am not saying I am perfect by any means, but my kids don't go without, at least as much as I can help. But it bothers me to see kids wearing tattered clothes when mom and dad (or just one in the picture if that's the case) have designer names on. They could be knock offs for all I know, but really? I bought myself a pair of new wedges a couple of months ago, but they were on clearance! Before that, I couldn't tell you the last time I bought myself new clothes...and I desperately need to since nothing fits anymore! People cry and complain that they can't feed their kids, so they turn to welfare to help. Then please explain how you have the money to buy the cigarettes that you are smoking? A few years ago, I gave up smoking because it was that or stop paying bills. Well, once again, I put personal wishes aside and stopped. (Not that it was a bad thing, I am healthier for it and will be around a few more years). I can't speak for my husband, but he is weaker than I am, but that's another story. People cry they can't afford this and that for their kids, but they are talking on the latest model iPhone (which sucks, I will never go back to iPhones, again that's another story). Anyways, I can keep going on and on but neither one of us have that kind of time on our hands.
What I am getting at is that people need to put their kids before themselves. They didn't ask to be born, but they deserve to be taken care of. Sometimes it boils down to taking care of them or yourself. I have been put in that position many times-and in a sense, right now I am also. My kids will come first always....Sorry Chef Ramsay, I know you were looking forward to meeting me as much as I was you, but it will have to wait until next year. I have other obligations.
